I have a problem with my boyfriend’s parents, or, more accurately, they have a problem with me. It spills over to the entire family too, annoyingly enough. It’s infuriating to think they have the audacity to assume they know me in any way, shape or form. For over two years now they have ignored my very existence, to the point where even my boyfriend has become annoyed and can’t make excuses for them anymore. They disappointed him this very Christmas. What is funny is the fact that what they think they know about me, this muddled and tainted “truth” that is so far from the very meaning of the word that I dare not call it truth anymore. Although, despite my boyfriend’s and my own efforts, they don’t do a thing to change their perspective on the woman their son is in love with. They nearly tore us apart. I won’t lie about it being one of the most painful things I’ve gone through. I have been bullied all my life, and I have the scars to prove it, but this had taken it to a whole different level.
Time went on and I have slowly realized that none of them in his clique of a family could ever even begin to compare to the bright light that is my boyfriend. I truly have the best one of them in my life, so I have begun to move on from desiring their acceptance. But it seems the very instant they realize that their son wants to marry me one day, everything begins to change and they suddenly care more and want to actually give him things. Things that I gave him, and things I continue to work to give him. I want him to be happy. I want him to have everything in the world. He is so amazing and truly an indescribable person. He deserves the world, and I want to give it to him. However, now I feel threatened… because how else have they left me to feel about them? The only thing they’ve ever given me is: fear, anger and a sense of being threatened of losing one of the best things to come into my life.
Even the mother, who I had looked up to, has deceived me and attempts to deceive their son. “I’m sure there must be something nice about her since you love her.” She doesn’t even know me, nor I really her, and she already broke my heart two years ago. I have always wanted to contact them and shed a little truth on what actually transpired those nine months my boyfriend and I lived with his sister; however, I don’t want to revisit those feelings and I don’t think it would make any difference now anyhow. Even when my boyfriend confronted his sister about owing me an apology, she made me out as what was actually her role to the man who was actually there. So we have just shrugged any resolution off from that.
Everything had been falling into place. An actual home to call our own and traveling is what I have been working on gifting to my love. Saving up to build our own home, we have, and I have been saving what extra money of mine I have to put towards trips that we could enjoy. There never gave him anything grandiose before, and the minute he makes it clear that he is serious about me– a car and some big trip suddenly happen. The car itself terrified me but he was able to calm me, and then next thing I know there is a trip almost at the same time we are going to Canada. They don’t care to get him in trouble at work, or the fact that we currently have trip to Canada we are looking forward to. I’d like to believe it a family trip s0 s0 badly, but they have given me nothing to show it as such. They have only hurt me. My love for their son is unconditional and I am not going away just because they think they don’t like me. They don’t know me. I don’t even think they know what an amazing son they have, truly. Maybe they are just realizing how he is more astounding then all of them combined, and now they are trying to take him from me. What else am I to think? I wish they would give me something else to feel about them, but I don’t think I’d believe any words out of their mouths at this point.
I am scared. I am hurt. I love him so much, that I didn’t know true love until him and my child is an understatement. Him and my son are my family. He makes us a family and my son and I are not going to let them rip us apart anymore. I know my fears bother my love because he sees what this has done to me, and to us, and I don’t want there to be some stupid ultimatum between us and them. He loves his family so I want him to be close with them. I just wish they would stop with the cold shoulder, behind the back kind of stuff. I know more than they will ever know I know. I know it was just this Christmas I was talked about in a negative light again, and, yes, I did state I’ve been ignored the last two years so I don’t know how they feel they have any authority to make judgements in the first place.
I have been loved. I have been hated. But I have never been so vehemently disliked in my life. This sucks. All I want is a honest chance, but we may be well past that ever happening. No matter what they put me through though, he is worth it. They can do their worst because I get to spend every day with one of the best men I have ever known. And no one will ever love their son as much and unconditionally as I do. It really is their loss; they will never get to see the man he is when he is with my son and I. That man is only for our eyes and hearts, I suppose. I might be getting all this hurt, but he is worth it and I would consider myself the winner, if this stupid thing was ever some competition for him. I wish it was less a competition and more… anything else.
I love him and I am not going anywhere.